42+ Funny Ways to Say Hello (Over Text and In-Person)
Saying “hello” is fine… but for people who live for laughter like me, it can get pretty boring.
At this point, I’m not sure what’s shaking in your life, but I can guarantee one thing: if you’ve made it to this post, you’re about to bid farewell to those dull, routine hellos.
I’ve put together 42+ funny alternatives that’ll help you ditch the same old greeting and make a memorable impression instead.
So, without further delay, let’s start!
Quick Cheat Sheet
| Phrase | Context |
|---|---|
| Ahoy, matey! | Pirate-style |
| Wassup, buttercup? | To a friend |
| What’s cookin’, good lookin’? | To a crush |
| Knock knock. Who’s there? Me. Hi. | Grand entrance |
| Howdy-doody! | Cowboy-style |
| Surprise! I still exist! | Reappearing |
| Howdy, troublemaker! | Ideal for friends or siblings |
Funny Ways to Say Hello | Clever Replies
1. Well, well, well… look who it is!
Great for surprise entrances or breaking the ice after a long pause. It brings drama in the best way.
2. Salutations
A formal hello that’s been dragged into a silly context. Great for ironic use when you’re pretending to be classy (but probably texting in pajamas).
3. Wassup, buttercup?
A friendly, rhyming classic for messages to close friends with a soft, sweet tone.
4. Yo yo yo, what is it?
A fun, retro-style greeting that brings 90s energy to any chat. Ideal for informal group messages.
5. Knock knock. Who’s there? Me. Hi.
Turn your greeting into a mini comedy bit. Best for when you’re popping back into a convo.
6. Peekaboo! I see you!
Whimsical and perfect for teasing someone or texting after a sudden reappearance.
7. Hola, taco!
It makes no logical sense — and that’s what makes it unforgettable. Send it with zero context.
8. Howdy-doody!
Your cowboy moment! Use it when you’re feeling quirky or ironically polite.
9. Ahoy, matey!
A pirate-style hello! It’s loud, adventurous, and perfect when you want to sound playful or surprise someone with something unexpected.
10. Greetings, Earthling.
Nerdy, robotic, and intentionally weird — works best for video calls or late-night texts.
11. Sup, home skillet?
A throwback to slang from the early 2000s. Use it with people who appreciate a good nostalgia hit.
12. Hey stinker!
Cheeky and cute. Especially great for texting siblings, BFFs, or playful crushes.
13. What’s the vibe, tribe?
Modern and social. Great for group chats or team check-ins that feel more like parties.
14. You again? Hello anyway.
Mock-annoyed, but actually affectionate. Only for people you’re comfy joking with.
15. What’s cookin’, good lookin’?
A playful way to say hi, especially if you’re flirting or just being silly with someone close.
15 Hilarious Ways to Say Hi Over Text
- Helolo?
- He. Lo.
- Hi. I bring chaos.
- Yo, what’s good?
- Hi. Be amazed.
- Hi. That’s it. That’s the text.
- Hey there, troublemaker.
- Hi. Please pretend I’m cool.
- It’s-a me, your texting buddy!
- Yo, it’s me again. Regrettably.
- Hey. I’ve arrived. Applause, please.
- Hi. Just haunting your phone again.
- Hello, my phone is allergic to silence.
- Hello, I exist. Just wanted to remind you.
- Knock knock. Just me, your favorite distraction. Hi!
💡 Bonus Tip: Personalise your message. Make it your own. Use their name. Add emojis. Heck, add sound effects. The funnier it is to you, the more natural it feels to send.
Ideas to Say Hello (In person)
1. Rhyming It Up
Using rhymes or near-rhymes to casually greet, like:
- Hello Jell-O!
- Wassup, buttercup?
- What’s cookin’, good lookin’?
- Yo bro, what’s the flow?
- Hi hi, don’t be shy!
It’s not just what you say—it’s how sing-songy and absurd you make it.
2. Pretending to Be Overly Dramatic
Make your entrance feel like a blockbuster scene:
- “Ladies and gentlemen… it’s me.”
- Enters room dramatically “I have arrived!”
This works best when the situation doesn’t remotely call for it.
3. Pretend You Never Left
Skip the small talk and act like the convo never ended:
- “Anyway… where were we?”
- “So, I was saying…”
Perfect for brushing off long absences like they never happened.
4. The Surprise Reappearance
Show up like a long-lost legend:
- “Guess who’s back in the simulation?”
- “Were you just thinking about me?”
The goal: act like your return is a major twist.
5. Using Alter Egos or Voices
Saying hi in a character or theme, like:
- Pirate mode: “Ahoy, matey!”
- British gentleman: “Ello, gov’nah!”
- Alien voice: “Greetings, Earthling.”
These work when you want to perform the hi, not just send it.
6. Turning It Into an Existential Crisis
Making the hi weirdly philosophical or too deep:
- “Hi. What is time anyway?”
- “Hey. Do you ever wonder if this is all a simulation?”
You’re saying hi, but also sending them down a rabbit hole.
7. Overly Formal for No Reason
Turn a simple greeting into a ceremonial event:
- “Greetings, distinguished intellectual.”
- “A fine day to you, valiant coder.”
The more needlessly grand, the better the comedic effect.
Ideas to Say Hello/Hi (Via Text)
1. Pretending You Don’t Know How to Greet
Awkward “hi” like you’re new to the language:
- “Hello hy, bye bye?”
- “Hi, yes? This is greet?”
- “Wassup… or whatever people say now.”
Perfect for embracing the chaos of social anxiety or randomness.
2. The Accidental Text Opener
Send a greeting that feels like you hit “send” by mistake:
- “Oops, wrong convo… or was it destiny?”
- “Didn’t mean to message… but while I’m here, hey.”
Ideal for making randomness your personal brand.
3. Pop Culture Parody
Use a lyric or meme to deliver your hello with flair:
- “Hi. I’m the drama. It’s me.”
- “Greetings from the other side of the chat box…”
- “Just sliding in like a Marvel post-credits scene.”
Because quoting icons > being original sometimes.
4. Using Baby Talk… Poorly
Say hi like a baby trying to be cool:
- “Hewwo fwend.”
- “Haiiiiii uwu I text now.”
It’s uncomfortable. That’s the point.
5. Using Tech Glitches or Auto-Correct Fails
Make it sound like your phone glitched:
- “Hiiiiiiiiiihhhhhoooooiii… oops.”
- “Hi. My autocorrect says bye. Rude.”
It’s you, but with a chaotic digital twist.
6. Pretending to Be an Ad Bot
Act like your message is an auto-generated ad:
- “Congratulations! You’ve unlocked one ‘Hi’ from me today.”
- “🔥Limited-time offer: Me saying hello.🔥”
Because what’s funnier than marketing language used to be affectionate?
7. Anti-social Mode Activated
Act like saying hi is a chore:
- “Hi. Let’s pretend this never happened.”
- “Hello. And now I vanish.”
These are perfect if your humor leans toward deadpan or introverted.
8. Roast as a Greeting
Greet with sass and a side of shade:
- “Hey. Still typing like it’s MySpace, I see.”
- “Hi. Blink twice if you’re still overreacting.”
- “Hello. How’s the WiFi from 1999 treating you?”
Only attempt if they can take a joke, or you can take a block.
Final Words
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations—you’re now certified in Advanced Hello-ing.
Use these greetings responsibly. Or irresponsibly. I don’t know your life. Just make sure your “hi” has main character energy from now on.
Now go forth… and say hello like you mean it.
